MSNBC Interview (Countdown with Keith Obermann)

December 30 2003

Transcript:

OLBERMANN: Unless you‘ve just moved here from Venus, you already know that this country has what is, at best, a schizophrenic relationship with alcohol and, at worst, a hypocritical one. We raise drinking ages while ringing college campuses with bars. We fight drunk driving while selling beer without limit at sporting events that people have to drive home from. And Pennsylvania and New Mexico have liquor stores with drive-through lanes.

But in our No. 1 story on the COUNTDOWN tonight, we serve up a brew from which they have removed that annoying dilutant that is political correctness, a magazine that unabashedly promotes drunkenness.

We sent COUNTDOWN‘s Monica Novotny to meet the Henry Luce of the booze media.

Monica, good evening.

MONICA NOVOTNY, NBC CORRESPONDENT: Keith, good evening.

The Denver-based magazine is called “Modern Drunkard.” And, according to its founder, it is written for the functioning alcoholic. And while it may sound like a joke, these gentlemen are serious about their magazine and, as you‘re about to see, they‘re serious about their drinking.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

NOVOTNY (voice-over): He is no Martha Stewart, but if you find your happiness at the bottom of the bottle, his lifestyle magazine, “Modern Drunkard,” may be a good thing for you.

FRANK RICH, EDITOR, “MODERN DRUNKARD”: I know there are all of these drunks out there, they don‘t have a voice. And that is our main purpose, is to give a voice to the recreational drinker.

NOVOTNY: And how exactly do Frank Rich and his staff do that?

RICH: You get in the morning usually hung over, have a bloody Mary, gin and tonic, get the juices flowing. Then drink pretty lightly during the day, like maybe a cocktail an hour. And then, around 7:00 or 8:00, go out and do the research at the bars. Got to stay in touch with the people.

NOVOTNY: And by people, he means drinkers, heavy drinkers who, each month, belly up for a mix of advice, politics, even poetry, all written by and for drunkards with one theme, “365 Excuses to Get Loaded,” Seven Habits of Effective Drunks,” “Hooching Through The Holidays,” and their most popular article yet, “The 867 Rules of Boozing.”

RICH: Oh, yes, here‘s a good one: 55, if you think you are slurring a little, you are slurring a lot. If you think you were slurring a lot, you are not speaking English.

NOVOTNY: To the outsider, it seems ridiculous, a spoof or satire. But, no, Rich is serious.

RICH: They put up more roadblocks to catch drunks than they do terrorists. There is no other segment of society as oppressed as drunks are right now.

NOVOTNY: And so they plug away day after day, drink after drink.

RICH: This is research. I‘m working on an article now called how to get kicked out of a bar.

NOVOTNY: Rich says his Denver-based business is breaking even thanks to local advertisers; 30,000 copies are printed monthly, with 3,000 accommodating subscribers.

RICH: Our readers are incredibly forgiving. If the magazine is two weeks late, they are just like, well, they‘re getting drunk and it is totally cool.

NOVOTNY (on camera): Here at magazine‘s headquarters, staffers face two challenges, hitting their deadlines and keeping the office bar fully stocked, because like their motto says, for the drunkard, one drink is never enough.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Frank and I will have business meetings over at this local bar, which means we meet at 3:00 and then, whenever one of us can‘t stand, we leave.

NOVOTNY (voice-over): So what do people really think of these modern drunkards?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My dad thinks it is pretty funny. I think my mom has a little bit of a problem with it.

RICH: My mom‘s side of the family, they‘re a little bit ashamed.

NOVOTNY: There are more unhappy mothers at the Colorado Chapter of MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, an organization Rich calls prohibitionist.

CHRISTY PITTS, MADD: MADD has nothing against responsible adult drinking. If you‘re over the age of 21, go ahead and have a few. Just don‘t drink and drive. I think it is unfortunate magazines such as “Modern Drunkard” romanticize alcohol and alcoholism.

NOVOTNY: And now, 70 years after the repeal of prohibition, Rich fears a new prohibition is coming.

RICH: The religious right, of course, always attacks alcohol. But now it is also coming from the politically correct left. And from both sides, they are converging. They‘re doing their best to take it away again.

NOVOTNY: But in an office where every hour is happy hour, confidence is always on tap.

RICH: It just takes time. Just like old buildings and prostitutes, eventually, they become respectable. Give us three years.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

NOVOTNY: Rich says they have never written an issue of the magazine sober. He said that would be like trying to surf without water. They are currently in the process of expanding to other cities.

They have a Web site. And they have just finished “Modern Drunkard” the movie. And, finally, for those of you who might be fans of journalist Frank Rich, as you pointed out earlier today, in case there was any confusion, this is not the same guy.

OLBERMANN: Don‘t sue us, Frank.

I‘m stunned. Do they discourage drunk driving?

NOVOTNY: Well, they are mostly concerned with alcohol and access to it.

(CROSSTALK)

NOVOTNY: So they don‘t—they certainly don‘t encourage drunk driving, but they just are very concerned about keeping their drinks.

OLBERMANN: Cigar magazines, guns magazines, machete magazines, drunk magazines.

COUNTDOWN‘s Monica Novotny, many thanks. Happy new year.

NOVOTNY: Happy new year.

OLBERMANN: Let‘s recap the COUNTDOWN top five stories.

No. 5, security concerns on New Year‘s Eve, FAA restricting airspace over New York and Vegas to all but the scheduled commercial flights. Four, the P.R. move that seems to have backfired. Michael Jackson‘s interview could wind up in court. Three, Attorney General Ashcroft recuses himself from the Joe Wilson investigation. A special prosecutor has been appointed. No. 2, a double danger out of the American food chain tonight. The diet drug ephedra has now been banned by the FDA, more measures on mad cow. And No. 1, “Modern Drunkard,” all the news that‘s fit to drink.